關於遠距離戀愛,我們這樣走過來的|Maintaining A Long Distance Relationship

ldrtop

再過不久,我們就要迎接我們的五週年囉!!!(12/01/2016更新:已經五年多了XD)
在大家眼裡的我們也許貌似感情很好,都不會吵架,
但其實這樣穩定的感情可是經歷了無敵多次的爭吵才有現在呢!
即使是現在,我們仍然會吵架!只是我們更懂得怎麼冷靜處理與溝通囉!

這五年,我們其實一直都算遠距離戀愛,又或者說是「類似」遠距離!
怎麼說呢?因為高中剛在一起的時候,Leon都忙著補習、準備學測指考,
而他上了大學變成我要面對可怕的高三,
(之前影片有提到他週末都會很貼心的特地從大學回來陪我唸書!)
同時他也在準備轉學考(雖然轉學考並不順利,但因為他很努力所以之後考上了很棒的研究所呢☺️)
然而當我經歷一波三折,好不容易考上大學(這又是另一段傷心的故事XD),
Leon卻要進入實驗室了, 因為老師非~~~常~嚴格,所以一週七天幾乎沒辦法休息……
我們一個月只見面一天變成很正常的事………(p.s.我們大學在不同縣市)
就這樣熬了三年,順利考上理想的研究所之後,一直到畢業前一刻都在幫前一位教授做實驗,
而一畢業又馬上進入新的研究所……他能陪我的時間幾乎是微乎其微,
也因此我才會說我們真的是以「遠距離戀愛」來經營的呀!

這篇文章其實原本是我在英文作文課寫的,
但一直都很想跟大家分享我們如何維持遠距離戀情的,
所以決定把它翻成中文跟你們分享,
男友在他處或總忙到不行,他們身邊的女孩們,你們都辛苦了!你們都很棒!!

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(一兩年前的我們~ 因為能見到的時間太少,每次一見到面都笑得好開心☺️)

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(因為能見面的時間都很短,所以約會通常只能看看電影、吃吃飯~)

關於遠距離戀愛,我們這樣走過來的
Maintaining A Long Distance Relationship

人們似乎總在一個不經意間便墜入情網。
也許是因為調皮的邱比特總是漫無目標地射出他的箭,讓世界充滿了施有魔法的粉紅泡泡。
愛上一個人很容易,然而要讓愛火持續燃燒是需要付出許多努力的。
在一段感情中難免會遇到各種難題,而我想其中最困難的便是——
遠距離戀愛、互相信任與意見分歧。

People seem to fall in love easily. Maybe it’s because that naughty Cupid has been shooting his arrows aimlessly, filling the world with numerous pink bubbles filled with his love potions. Falling in love is easy; however, keeping the flame of love burning is never an effortless endeavor. In a relationship, people may encounter several obstacles, and three of the most important ones are: long distance, trust issues, and contrary opinions.

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(認真做實驗的男人最帥氣! 默默的等待與陪伴是我唯一能做的☺️)

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(熬了四年,終於畢業囉~雖然馬上就又被研究所實驗室綁架了…還我男友來!哈哈)

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首先我們來談談遠距離吧!距離永遠都是一段感情最大的阻礙。
許多情侶可能因為工作、學業或是其他原因,被迫居住在不同的城市甚至是國家,
舉例來說,我和男友已經深受遠距離戀愛之苦長達兩年以上(現在是四年以上了),
基本上我們一個月只能見面一、兩次。為了維繫我們的感情,我們付出了非常多努力。
例如呢,我們每天都會以電話或是Facetime在睡前聊天至少30~60分鐘,
與彼此分享今天發生的事或是聊聊未來的人生與期望。
除此之外,我們總會告知對方自己現在在哪裡、在做什麼,
而這樣的動作也不知不覺變成了我們的習慣呢!
再者,多為彼此著想、當個體貼的另一半肯定是最重要的了!
每當Leon為了考上理想的研究所,拖著疲憊的身軀從實驗室回去租屋處時,
我總會告訴他「你是最棒的!」並且聽他抱怨心裡說不完的苦,
讓他知道即使我不在他身邊,當他需要我的時候我總是在這裡等待他❤️。

To begin with, distance is always an enormous challenge to a romantic relationship. Many couples may have to live in different cities or countries due to their jobs, studies, or other various reasons. For example, my boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for more than two years, and basically we only see each other twice a month. In order to keep our relationship strong, we put in lots of effort.  First, we talk on the phone or use Facetime for at least 30 to 60 minutes before going to bed every day. Next, we always let each other know where we are and what we are doing, and it has become a part of our routine. Third, being considerate is absolutely vital for couples. When my boyfriend gets home from the laboratory in preparation for graduate school, he is overtaken by exhaustion. Then, I tell him that he is great, listen to his complaints, and let him know even though I am not physically beside him he can still rely on me when he is exhausted.

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完全的互信更是一道難題。不僅僅是對於遠距離戀愛,就連同居的情侶也必須克服這道難關。
信任對一段感情而言有多重要?有許多的情侶都因為缺乏信任感而分手,尤其是當他們正處於一段遠距離戀愛。
因為無法見到彼此,所以容易懷疑對方在自己看不到的時候,究竟都在做些什麼。
很幸運地,我和Leon至今沒有因為互信問題而吵架或不愉快。怎麼做到的呢?
舉例來說,除非Leon在我身邊,否則我出門絕對是滴酒不沾;
而且我們也絕不會單獨去夜店或是其他可能會使我們感情生變的地方。
另外,對我來說最最最重要的大概就是我們都會與異性保持距離,像是我們絕不單獨與異性友人出門或吃飯。
或是在很久以前我們就說好了,Leon騎車絕對不能載除了我與他的家人以外的其他女生。
由於非常信任彼此,我們從來沒有檢查過對方的手機。
因為我們都知道,我們之間是沒有秘密的(笑)(我們兩個都超不會說謊哈哈)

In addition, trust issues are also huge challenges not only for long distance relationships, but also for those couples who live together. How important is trust in a relationship? Many couples break up because of their lack of mutual trust; especially when they are in a long distance relationship. Since they can’t interact face to face, they tend to be more suspicious of what their partners are doing. Fortunately, my boyfriend and I have never been bothered by this problem. For instance, I don’t drink unless he’s with me, and we don’t go to nightclubs or other places that can complicate our relationship. What’s more, the most important thing is to keep a proper distance from the opposite gender. We won’t hang out with the opposite gender alone. We made a deal in the past—my boyfriend can’t give rides to any girl except his sister and me. Last but not least, we never check each other’s cellphone because we trust each other. We both know that there are no secrets between us.

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除了互信,如何處理意見分歧的問題也是一樣重要的!
情侶間不同的想法往往是非常可大的導火線,一個不小心就會引起吵架。
然而這麼可怕的問題卻是難以避免的,我和Leon也一樣為此吵了不少架。
至今,我們漸漸從每一次的吵架中學到一些溝通方法,
例如當我們吵架時,我們會先試著冷靜下來不在氣頭上講話,
畢竟那時候說出來的話絕對都是非常傷人的!
我們明白,理性說出彼此想法與不開心的點,才能真正讓我們的感情更堅強。
所以吵架時,我們通常都是先不講話,做自己的事,等稍微冷靜了再好好談談彼此生氣的點是什麼。
固執己見往往只會讓事情更糟糕,所以真的要聆聽對方的想法,且心平氣和地表示意見喔!
我想,接受彼此的想法也是一種表達愛的方式吧!
只有當兩個人都為了那段感情努力,一切才會變得更好唷!☺️

Aside from mutual trust, how to deal with differing opinions is another significant issue for romantic couples. Disagreements on topics are inevitable. What’s worse, conflicts may come one after another if couples can’t handle the situation competently. My boyfriend and I had faced this kind of situations several times. Finally, after having many arguments, we learned how to communicate. When we get into an argument, we try to stay calm and listen to each other’s thoughts rather than shouting at each other. Sometimes, a compromise is needed; being stubborn only makes things worse. For me, accepting my partner’s ideas is also a way to show my love and respect for him. Only when two people make every effort for their relationship will it get better and better.

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(I’d say, “Every day with you is a good day.”)

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IMG_2448(和Leon一起去健身房!陪他一起做他想做的事,也是一種幸福!)

Leon曾經跟我說過,「我們都不是完美的,但我們都很努力為了彼此變得更好!」
在這段感情中,我們不僅學會了如何面對遠距離戀愛,
更學會了如何相信你愛的人,以及聆聽不同的意見並尊重他人。
因為我們非常珍惜彼此,所以我們絕對願意為了讓這段感情更加堅定而不惜一切地付出。

My boyfriend once told me: ”Neither of us is perfect, but we will try hard to be good for each other.” In this relationship, we learned how to deal with long distance relationship, how to build trust with people you love, how to accept each other’s differences, and how to respect each other. We cherish each other, so we are willing to contribute everything to make our relationship strong.

IMG_2183(最喜歡一起出遊的感覺!)

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附上一系列Leon鬼臉照!
想要拍張正常的照片好難啊~~~

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I’ll love you forever and ever!!! Till the end of the world☺️

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終於把這篇打出來了!
感謝大家看完落落長的這一篇~
祝大家都能有情人終成眷屬!

以前發過的文章/影片:(點圖進入|Click the picture to read)

我們怎麼認識的?超奇妙交往過程!|How We Met Each Other?howw

我們感謝彼此的10件事&相處模式|Be Thankful to Each Other & How We Get Along
Thankful

 

每一段感情,真的不是只有喜歡就可以的。(翻了好多高中的舊照片XD)

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3rd Anniversary 交往滿三週年囉 ♥︎ Through all the difficulties, we are still hand in hand.

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【小物】情人節/生日禮物送什麼好呢?24種送給男友/女友禮物推薦分享!

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